In an unprecedented move, Josh Doyle, a man previously known for his expertise in grifting bartenders, shaking down homeless school children, and microwaving kittens has eluded his mythical behavior by offering to fly down Brother Greg Dauphin to the Theta Chi reunion as a wedding present:
I've booked a room at La Quinta for Friday and Saturday. Greg and Ian you have no excuse not to attend. I will pay for the room. Greg, I will gladly make your plane ticket my gift to you and Marie for your wedding. I'm removing all chances for escape. Marie, Liana, and Katie can spa it for the weekend.Marie is Dauphin's fiancee. Using my future-seeing machine, (I call it The Obvious Stuff Capacitor) I can see how this will work out:
T'1754
Doyle
[Sunday morning, a couple weeks after Marie and Greg tie the knot]
Marie: (sorting through an excel spreadsheet) Josh is doing so well, I wonder why he didn't bother to give us a wedding gift?
Greg: (transforming a confused look, that quickly turns to a shit-eating grin) Hmmm that's odd. (after a beat) Oh wait - he did! Remember how I had a nice boys weekend in Gainesville, drank until the morning church services began, slept half-in half-out of a commercial grade fridge, used a bin of shredded cheese for a pillow, and came home with out any underwear?
Marie: Was that Parmesan cheese?
Greg: It was.
Marie: That makes so much sense now.
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